Games mind played...

The games mind plays are peculiar.

When I went for the meditation camp for 10 days, one condition was that no one can talk for the whole period. You cannot talk to your room mate or any other participants; you can only talk to your teacher at appointed times to clear any doubts. In the whole 10 days I talked may be three sentences to participants.

It was a zombie world alright. We all get up in the morning, avoid each other and meditate or spend time till the breakfast time at 6.30 am. We trudge silently like a living dead kind of movie to the lunch hall and eat our food in silence. We do not even smile at each other, do not thank each other; be nice yes but in silent nods and simple gestures.

Then we go to the grounds to relax, with a nice morning sun beating a nice warmth on our bodies; there is this man, who walks every step measured, in silence, purposefully in straight line, almost in slow motion, looking straight at the morning sun and with a stature like Gautama the Buddha himself. If I were to make a movie on Gautama the Buddha, he stands a chance, no he walks a chance. Suddenly you see him standing on a table in the grounds and looking at the early morning or late evening sun; with eerie intensity. He gets down and trudges his slow motion steps to divinity. I almost expected him to walk into the sun rays and disappear.

This other man stares intensely at an ant hill; he puts bridges and path ways in the different holes; he connects one hole to another, he makes a pole walk way and leaves some bits of food at the end; he then silently observes the ants' behavior. Without meaning to, he started a cooperative movement of sorts. To this little design in the ant hill, another person added a small assembly area; one more person added a big prayer hall of sorts; slowly one by one, the zombies added small details; someone added an airport, someone names it Antapolis. Soon we were staring at a township. One man looking at it intensely just put the figures of the clock and made it into a sun dial shadow clock. The picture above is the finished form of the ant city. It was fun and done by many with no word uttered between them.

When alone, you observe others right down to their slippers. You notice an old man wearing an expensive brand, then one by one you start noticing and comparing the brands of slippers. You connect the slippers to the man and his clothes; you observe the hole in the socks of the man meditating ahead of you and every day pray for his changing the socks; when your prayers are answered you feel happy. You notice a man silently meditating without any efforts for 3 to 5 hours at a stretch and feel like bothering him with your toes placed at the right spot. You follow the old teacher's each step going out and in, telling yourselves she will fall down in the next step, be ready to help her. You watch each man eat his meals and file away the preferences; you compete with one man for a particular seat without making it obvious and feel happy when you dethrone him. You take a lot of pebbles and play a game of hitting a stone at a distance; clap when you succeed. You make clapping sounds every two steps such that the man relaxing at the end of the ground respectfully moves away. You stand in the sun's reflection from the glass window, to put your own shadow on the frame in the ground; then dance and make figures like batman and Dracula; you wait for someone to see you, but on one is there to applaud. You watch the well groomed man next to you and imagine his background as if he is from a privileged family. You build his background around him such that he is a hero. Then your back cushion goes missing and he has a new back cushion; so you decry his background and curse him for taking advantage on simple matters, taking others for granted; the you see your cushion fallen below, so you introspect about yourselves.

On and on for ten days.......